Cavani takes Neymar's Penalty. That didn't take long.

Well folks, the honeymoon in Paris is over. The Qatari-funded club playing in the French capital has a problem with their two South American goal scorers. Nothing from that sentence makes any sense so I for one am shocked that this pairing is already on the rocks. Both of these players will probably score their 30+ goals this season but more importantly no one will care because it's Ligue 1. Neymar did not leave Barcelona to play the likes of Guingamp, Troyes, and Dijon (like the mustard, probably). He came to score 60 goals and win the Ballon d'Or.  Ronaldo and Messi aren't slowing down anytime soon but Neymar wants, nay, needs to be the world's best player but it seems he has a long-haired Uruguayan bully that does not seem to care about his record transfer fee or his stutter-step penalty run-up. Listen, we've all had bullies in our life. Neymar took the tried and true "take my ball and go home" tactic. Admirable but shockingly it did not work. So obviously the next step is to unfollow Cavani from Instagram. I don't find this to be a bad tactic either. How does that affect my klout score? Will he tag him in the celebratory post game insta? Lots of questions going around Cavani's head now.

I, for one, am happy this is going on. When PSG v Caen is the only match on Friday afternoon, would I watch without the threat of a South American royal rumble? Probably not. Now? You bet your ass I'm grabbing my Kronenbourg 1664 and Foie Gras to see if a heavy open handed slap or minimum glaring petty eye roll will go down. Football* especially French football needs this type of drama. Somewhere the French version of Vince McMahon or David Stern is thanking his lucky stars while watching the Euros roll into the bank account.

*I call it Football because that's what I call it. Get over it. I don't care what you call it so just deal with it.

PS. Edson Cavani will score his goal in France but is still kind of trash. If you haven't seen him play for Uruguay, then you won't understand this take. I want him to be world class but he just isn't.

PPS. Edson is a terrible name for a celebrity. I know you can't predict these things but he really overcame the odds on that one.