BREAKING: World's Happiest Footballer kicks supporter in the face. Gets Red Card. Also BREAKING: Patrice seemingly not the Happiest Footballer in the World anymore.

Here is Patrice Evra spicing up our Monday. I love this game

pic.twitter.com/XEZNawpkVI

— Based on Logistics¹ (@Iam_Abdulaxis) October 30, 2017

 The Monday Man. Brightening the worst day of week for ages. Will I stoop to the level of a corny pun to say how he woke up on the wrong side of the bed this day? No I won't. I made a promise to never be punny and that is one promise I vow to keep no matter what side of the bed I wake up on each day. I digress.

You have to feel bad for our guy Patrice here. Should you kick a fan in the face? Probably not. As I know my friend Patrice is a student of history, he should have seen the past precedent that kicking a fan is, in fact, a bad thing. see also: Cantona.

Let's keep the feet on the ground Patrice. Whether it be on a football or on the dancefloor, feet belong on the ground not on people's faces.

Now that we are over that. I have a serious problem with Evra getting a red card BEFORE THE MATCH even kicked off. I know there are rules and that rules should be followed, but you shouldn't have to face a sporting punishment based on something done outside the 90 minutes (95 minutes if you played for Sir Alex Ferguson.) Where does the referee get off being the policeman of the pitch banning a player before a match?! Before a match, a referee is just a woman or man like you and I. They are lawyers, doctors, shopkeepers that enjoy the beautiful game. Inside the lines, they are the judge and jury as they should be. Outside those lines, they should have ZERO power. I never understood how FIFA, leagues, and hell players even allow this to happen. I am sure there is some safety precedent that I am willfully forgetting but I have no intention to change my opinion on this matter. Plus, I think it would be worse punishment for our dancing and singing friend if he had to play the 90 minutes in front of the supporters he chose to kick at. Make it real gladiator type stuff.

These referees can GTFO with pregame or postgame red cards. Get off your power trip and stick to the 90 minutes you try to manage. Let's all stay in are lanes here.

Patrice Evra (any footballer): No kicking fans pre-match especially your own.
Referees: No cards before the whistle blows.
Me: No puns.

Now that's all clear, back to dancing Evra. This dude is just trying to live his best life and I am here for that. I LOVEEEEEEEEEEE THIS GAME!